Tuesday.... typed on my phone with one hand. This will be fun!

 Election Day 

My dad was my election day buddy. He’d fly into Arizona to watch with me. In 2016 we got off the phone about half way through. My head racing, my heart breaking to learn that so many people in America could vote for a man who bragged about being able to sexually assault women, made fun of the handicapped and wanted to strip Americans like me of their healthcare.

I didn’t talk to my dad again for two days. I was in shock. I felt blindsided by what I thought were common American values but turned out to be nothing at all to do with empathy and honor and respect. 

I’ll never view this country the same again. I’ll never think that everyone is basically good. When I see so many “Karens” videos where women feel brazen and comfortable screaming nigger at another person and often in front of kids. Calling the police and lying about being attacked or complaining that black people are having a bbq in a park or a wedding on a public beach. Standing behind their car screaming obscenities and racial slurs and blocking them from leaving.

I swear to God that I didn’t think there was racism in this country until I watched 2008 elections and then in 2016 and this year. I was naive as hell. Living in some bubble of my own making. Thinking we all had common ground as Americans and no matter the results we knew that we could sleep at night and feel safe in the hands of our leaders well though out, even if different than our, opinions and choices. I only remember feeling scared as a child as my fear mongering church and family seemed to believe that everyone who wasn’t a Republican was a devil worshiping baby killer who would shred our common values. You know, like allow gay people to marry. 

My point, because I’m falling asleep!!

I won’t have my dad to talk to, panic with, talk me down, ramp me up........ I miss him so much.

My kids are all scattered, except for the youngest, but we are all going to watch. Of course my husband will be here, which is the first election night since Bush v Gore!! And Robb is going to sleep during his day to watch too. He says I can call him in panic, joy, fear, happiness and he will be my “dad person” on the other end of a phone. 

Here we go. Hold my hand.

Tracy