Oops!

 I’ll try and post tomorrow.

Hola, Amigo!

 Is it hot where you all are? Is like hell here. Good times!

I had the biopsy of my spleen recently and am waiting for the results. In the meantime it’s feeling better. You know that’s how it works, right? 

Let’s do some quick q&a’s:

1)What are you watching now, anything you’d recommend?

Ummm, I’m watching way too many Investigation ID episodes. Haven’t seen any really good documentaries in a minute. I stopped watching 1883 because I don’t enjoy it. I am watching this show called Evil( I can’t think of what channel it’s on but I think I watch it on Hulu(?)) anyway, it actually scares me to watch some episodes in the dark so I watch it in small doses. Robb says he crosses himself when he watches it 😂😂 Catholics! And I’m obsessed with watching interrogations of murderers on YouTube. Some are guilty of really really awful crimes and it seems like the guilty all follow a certain pattern when being questioned. It’s fascinating to see how similar they are. Here’s a clue, in case you are planning on committing a brutal murder, do not answer “ what do you think?” Type of questions with anything but “ I don’t know.” Psychopaths think they’re so smart that they can lead the investigation away by suggesting things when asked those questions and, well, it’s not working.

2) Have you been paying attention to the Jan 6 Committee hearings?

I’ve watched all the televised ones. 

3) Any news on the book?

I can’t talk about it yet

4) You never wrote anything about the Roe Supreme Court decision.

I know. I can’t decide where to even begin.

5) How long have you been married?

Almost 29 years. That’s so crazy! We don’t actually have any divorced friends either. There might be something about us Gen X’ers

Have to go. I’m putting together a list of topics for my 31 Days Of Halloween. I actually start recording in about 5-6 weeks. Time really feels faster now.

Me

Spiders…..

 Two weeks ago I’m walking  in my house and I feel a prickly sensation on my upper butt cheek which reminds me that I’d woken up the night before with the same feeling so I head into the bathroom and look just under my underwear at this spot and there are three large hives. They aren’t round, they are horizontal and stacked about a centimeter apart from each other. 

I’m wondering what it could be. Other than tingling it doesn’t hurt or itch. I show my husband and after a few seconds he says “ Spider bites”

Now I’m in panic mode because I live in Texas and a spider bite can cost you a limb. I asked how he knew that and he said that he could see the puncture marks in each hive.

At that moment I had to do the “Oh, holy shit!! That happened when I was in bed and it’s under my boy shorts and BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN” dance, as is appropriate.

We decide to check it the next morning after we put new bedding on, of course. 

The next morning I’m wide awake as his alarm goes off because I’ve already seen that the bites are no longer hives, they are pus filled blisters and that doesn’t seem right.

Now, something that you may not know about me is that I am stocked up for anything medically to happen. I have a four drawer, 12 in wide, 3.5 ft tall, dresser filled with anything you will ever need for most any injury. I did that a couple years ago when I was supposed to be having grandkids around…..

So, bites, burns, colds, coughs, headache, cuts, vomiting, upset tummy, diaper rash, broken bone, bloody nose, wound closing etc… I have it. Plus about 100 sterile syringes of saline for cleaning out wounds, pads for making and area sterile and soaking up blood ( thanks to a ton of picc line supplies) if you can think of it, even homeopathic, I have it and a tea for anything that ails ya.

My husband went to get some saline and alcohol swabs and he goes to clean one and the skin…. FELL OFF. there was a hole underneath where it had been.

It was around that time that we decided to see a doctor. ASAP. I was given an antibiotic, not for the venom but for the bacteria that comes with it, had then cleaned and dressed and told to check every few hours.

Two weeks later, I finally have scabs on them. Looks like I’m gonna get to keep my right butt cheek after all. I figured that jeans were gonna be a problem otherwise.

Was it one spider that bit me three times? Or three spiders that bit me once each? This is what’s keeping me up at night right now.

Goddamn Texas.

Tracy

Friday

  Had a doctors appointment this week and basically the only thing that I took away was what mattered the most, doc said “ I love your dress! You always look so cute!” And there was something about blood tests but whatever.

She gets me. 

She’s also leaving for maternity leave today and the way she told me made me laugh so hard that I cried when my husband and I got back in the truck. All the doctors at this office used to be nurses so they have a really good bedside manner, but I’m questioning if my doctor was also a preschool teacher, here’s the convo:

“ Ok, I’m leaving on Friday for my leave. You’ve met your other doctor, you like her, she knows all about you( that doc called me “ delicate”), you’re safe. Everything will be fine and I can not wait to see you again in three months! Ok, are you alright? Yay!”

The very first time I ever met her I told her that I have ridiculous anxiety. She remembers. I felt about 4 yeas old, but not in a “bad” way, more of a psych patient way 😂😂

A couple of months ago my friend showed me a Teddy Bear Jacket that she’d gotten at a Western store, to wear this winter. Yes, in Texas we buy winter stuff in the heat of the summer because, well, as you can imaging, coats cost a lot less when it’s 100 degrees out. So do boots, velvet dresses, sweaters… you see the idea. So I bought one too because I loved it! Then I saw Beth Dutton on Yellowstone wearing my coat! I’m a cool kid too. 😎

Gotta run,

Night luvs

To answer a question….

 I’ve gotten this question several times in several ways,  so here ya go:

Curse words might be in the picture…

How could you not notice that you are almost blind in one eye?

It’s not fucking possible to be almost blind in one eye and be surprised by the test result!

Are you stupid? 

Ya, those are good ones. First no, I’m not stupid but I sure as hell would rather be than to be a fucking twat waffle.

Next, my right eye is near perfect. So, the way eyes work is if one is lagging behind, the good one says “ Aw, shit, hold my beer” and starts doing the heavy lifting. I did know my vision was becoming bad. That’s why I went, that and this one other thing… I took a selfie and one eye looked at the camera, the other eye( my left) was noticeably NOT looking at the camera. That, worried me. 

Some of you people can be such assholes in your anonymous bravery. Taking your short comings out on a complete stranger, making your dick larger, your hair blonder, you lose your body fat and your teeth come back. I’m not the one, sweetie. You will be blocked right after I verbally shred your tiny little ego looking for some tiny victory to make you feel like you’re better than that pale, bloated, wrinkly ass face that used to play something on your high school football team, back in the day, looking back at you in the mirror. No, Baby. Keep trolling right on by.

Next! 

Tracy

We’re Havin’ a Heat Wave

 A not so tropical heat wave…. More like the fire of a thousand suns! It’s been up into the 110’s! Lord, have mercy!

I had my eyes examined on Saturday because my vision was becoming really blurry. I’ve never had issues with my vision but my mom wore glasses, all four of my kids wear glasses, but I wrote it off as a side effect of a medication. So, I go strolling in all thinking that I’m gonna get me some sassy glasses, I’m never gonna be the boring glasses lady, not in this life time, so I’m kind of thinking I’m gonna be cute……

I have to have surgery…..

That’s my life in a nutshell.

 There’s a problem with my left eye and when I say that I couldn’t see through that eye for the exam I mean the doctor acted like I was a moron for not even knowing that there were letters on the screen. All I could see was the light. My right eye? Perfect vision, but eventually I’ll need surgery on that one as well, I guess. 

Yay! But it looks like I might not be getting those sassy glasses after all. 

My YM has been going through IT. She broke up with her boyfriend of seven years and he moved to Chicago last Sunday ( Thank you, Jesus!) On Wednesday she tested positive for Covid. Like the kind that kicks your ass for a few days, not the “ I think I have allergies “ kind. She couldn’t move and had no help. I ordered her groceries and meds and vitamins and teas and a robe and fuzzy socks and a heating pad and a pulse ox meter and cocoa and a new soft blanket. Had it delivered to her. I’m still a mama after all.

I’m watching 1883 and I’m not thrilled about it. It in no way inspires me to to get in a wagon train and go west. I would have planted myself firmly on the east coast if I lived back then. I’m just not built for torture.

I’m gonna go. I’m boring myself.

Tracy

Hold on

 I have a post coming….. 

Just chatting

 As we were leaving the Island yesterday we drove out the back way because there’s a lot of stupid people here walking into traffic like they own the joint. Shopping must drain brain cells. Anyway, we drive by the Bayou, and as one does I was leaning out of the truck saying hello to the bunnies and ducks and out of the corner of my eye I see a….. What the Fuck… yup, a real live, what the fuck, sitting in the grass on its hind legs eating something with its paws and I’ve never seen this creature in my life! My husband slams on the breaks as we both say “ WTF IS THAT?!” 

The closest thing I can think of is a Capybara or some kind of beaver without a flat tail. We narrow down that a capybara wouldn’t be in Texas, beavers all have flat tails so….. Is it dangerous? Does it spread disease? ( for the record, armadillos spread leprosy!) so, obviously I start googling “ rat + big + beaver + capybara + Texas” That ought to narrow it down! We found that it’s a rodent type thing that no one wants because they mow down vegetation like a forest fire and therefore will ruin the bayou if a snake doesn’t get them first ( my money is on the snake) they are called Nutria and they can get to 22 lbs of rat/ beaver creature! Goddamn, Texas. 

That’s it. I just thought that needed to be shared.

Bye

Me