Spiders…..

 Two weeks ago I’m walking  in my house and I feel a prickly sensation on my upper butt cheek which reminds me that I’d woken up the night before with the same feeling so I head into the bathroom and look just under my underwear at this spot and there are three large hives. They aren’t round, they are horizontal and stacked about a centimeter apart from each other. 

I’m wondering what it could be. Other than tingling it doesn’t hurt or itch. I show my husband and after a few seconds he says “ Spider bites”

Now I’m in panic mode because I live in Texas and a spider bite can cost you a limb. I asked how he knew that and he said that he could see the puncture marks in each hive.

At that moment I had to do the “Oh, holy shit!! That happened when I was in bed and it’s under my boy shorts and BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN” dance, as is appropriate.

We decide to check it the next morning after we put new bedding on, of course. 

The next morning I’m wide awake as his alarm goes off because I’ve already seen that the bites are no longer hives, they are pus filled blisters and that doesn’t seem right.

Now, something that you may not know about me is that I am stocked up for anything medically to happen. I have a four drawer, 12 in wide, 3.5 ft tall, dresser filled with anything you will ever need for most any injury. I did that a couple years ago when I was supposed to be having grandkids around…..

So, bites, burns, colds, coughs, headache, cuts, vomiting, upset tummy, diaper rash, broken bone, bloody nose, wound closing etc… I have it. Plus about 100 sterile syringes of saline for cleaning out wounds, pads for making and area sterile and soaking up blood ( thanks to a ton of picc line supplies) if you can think of it, even homeopathic, I have it and a tea for anything that ails ya.

My husband went to get some saline and alcohol swabs and he goes to clean one and the skin…. FELL OFF. there was a hole underneath where it had been.

It was around that time that we decided to see a doctor. ASAP. I was given an antibiotic, not for the venom but for the bacteria that comes with it, had then cleaned and dressed and told to check every few hours.

Two weeks later, I finally have scabs on them. Looks like I’m gonna get to keep my right butt cheek after all. I figured that jeans were gonna be a problem otherwise.

Was it one spider that bit me three times? Or three spiders that bit me once each? This is what’s keeping me up at night right now.

Goddamn Texas.

Tracy