Between life in general, stuff going on with my kids, and working on my 31 days videos, my ass has been kicked.
In the interest of being transparent, I have not been well.
We didn’t get to go on our vacation to New Orleans because my YM was in a car accident. We stayed to deal with that and with that came an avalanche of drama with our children. It’s been extremely difficult. My YM is fine now. But being exposed to the other children is literally abusive. I handle it well in the moment but afterwards my heart just explodes. The loss of betrayal is very similar to a death except death has an ending and a start to healing. This is a perpetual emotional and mental abuse. The om and oldest son are in my ym’s ear. She, as I’ve said a million times, is the light in my life. The warm breeze. The sunflower and the warm fuzzies. Suffice it to say, her siblings are pounding her to chose them, to support their abuse of me and their dad and I honestly feel her slipping away. She doesn’t want them to be mad at her. Parents are disposable. We’ll be dead long before her siblings. What will her support system look like then? She doesn’t want to be the new us. And she will be. So will Josh but they give him less pressure. He’s the baby. They still mostly treat him as invisible. But if YM goes, so will he. And he should. She’s his comfort blanket. The two are extremely close. And it is coming and it is coming soon. The writing is in the wall. YM has said things to us that mimic her siblings. It’s shocking. It’s not “her.” I can hear her siblings like she’s reading their memo.
I’m struggling, my husband is struggling. I’m drowning.
My next post won’t be so bleak, I promise.
Thanks for the pics :-)
Who you gonna call?
Tracy
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