Surgeon

 I meet with a Uro-Gyn next week to discuss surgery. The procedure is called urethroplasty and it takes 3-6 hours to complete. If you have the stomach for gory things, look it up, cross your legs and pray this never happens to you. 

As far as it never happening,  this ONLY happens by severe injury either by something like slamming down on that lovely bar that’s on a bike or by injury during surgery. Guess who hasn’t slammed down on a metal bar lately? Ya. So whole other bridge that will need to be crossed. My former surgeon called me today to see how I’m doing. Keeping in touch etc....Someone also knows that I haven’t injured myself. 

However, as gruesome as this surgery is, basically building a new urethra from skin grafts, and needing a foley cath for at least 21 days, which is akin to torture, I’m so excited to get this done. To live without constant pain, which no one will medicate for lest you become a drug Addict ( my mind is exploding with this bullshit) is a huge factor in my depression. What if I start feeling..... Normal.... Holy shit! The things I’ll do! An unstoppable force of nature! Joy? 

Lovely. 

I have a post to write about a genetic test that USA Volleyball gave to my youngest to see if surgery would be a path to take, even with the middle of the road odds of being healed. It’s interesting.

My son is still not speaking to me. Is this not crazy AF?

I’m getting a gift this week!!! I’m so happy that I’m doing a happy dance!!! It’s my favorite Tiffany Bracelet that I’ve peeked in on and said hi to for several years. For some odd reason I never mentioned her to the husband until recently and he bought her for me!!! Ack!!!!!! 

I opened an Etsy shop for digital art and color pages. And I’ve started my new Penny Art project which is already gorgeous and ones similar but not as pretty as mine will be when finished are starting at about $400 per piece. I’ll put these pieces on my Etsy store as well. I’m really feeling the need to be creative outside of my box. Makes me a bit nervous but hey, it’s only a failure if you didn’t try... oh! And I’ve been crocheting all wool pot holders. They are fantastic and I’ll be crocheting a blanket for my YM for Christmas. She can’t sleep without a certain type of blanket in which she can intertwine her fingers between the yard. For, literally two decades, I’ve been buying them from consignment store so I’m going to take a little tiny square from her first baby blanket and crochet it into a new blanket for her. 

It’s very healing to find something to fill you up in some form of art. I listen to my music and just drown out everything else and it feels safe and pleasant.

Ok, that’s me for now.

Much love. I hope all you mothers are shown love and appreciation on Sunday just as you should be every day of the year.

Tracy