My Bad

SOUNDTRACK: WITHOUT ME/ EMINEM🎤🎼

 I’ve been so busy with a few things, one in particular, that is sucking the life out of me, is my annual 31 Days Of Halloween, where in I have a video up all 31 days of October which is actually three MONTHS worth of content condensed into 31 days and, I love it, do not get me wrong, but after this my mind will be an empty jar! It’s the editing that drags. You watch a video and you don’t notice the different editing features because if you did then someone did it wrong, right? 

SOUNDTRACK: I DONT GIVE A FUCK/ DUA LIPA

Anyway, it’s those tiny details and photo hunts that literally take HOURS to do one video that feels like paddling up stream. But! I feel great when I see it all coming together! I use a pad and pen to keep everything straight, I like to hold it in my hands so I can cross out, move, add, wherever I want and the messier it looks the more I lOVE it!!! 

SOUNDTRACK:  BABY HOLD ON/EDDIE MONEY

I’m really feeling the best I have in a long time. My time of year! Plus, a side effect of my daughter and son blocking me, that I do not think they saw coming, is that I feel so much better. I don’t have any pressure to make sure that I jump through hoops and it’s just not bothering me. I found a really great therapist that specializes in this adult child separation thing and she gives permission to express all the feelings that society says you’re a bad parent/ person for having.

SOUNDTRACK: RIVER/EMINEM FEAT. ED SHEERAN

SOUNDTRACK:ID REALLY LOVE TO SEE YOU TONIGHT/ENGLAND DAN AND JOHN FORD COLEY

I’ll try and do better checking in, I’m just so busy.. Oh! Found this man on Tik Tok who has the voice of a goddamned angel, melted Carmel, read me the dictionary, My Friend…. Anyway! He was abused by a female care taker and I reached out hoping that he’d read my message and not just think it’s someone sliding into his DM’s and we’ve been talking. He’s spectacular, kind, soft, a great husband and daddy and brave. He wants to have conversations with me and his wife before he has me interview him, we’ve started that process of gaining trust. I’m so blessed by this journey!!

SOUNDTRACK: SPRINGSTEEN/ERIC CHURCH

Gonna go.

Congrats on the girl. Girl dads are the best.

Luv,

Me