Ok, here we go…

 I don’t think my kidney infection ever went away, in fact, I am currently enjoying such severe pain that I have difficulty sitting or walking. I can not imagine living like this. The surgery I need is considered elective and hospitals are resuming elective surgeries yet but, it’s not optional at this point. but how do you live without sitting and walking? The pain makes me faint. I feel nauseated all the time, I can’t eat. I’m feeling SO fucking bad for myself. Let me wallow!!

Next! I had the worst psychiatrist appt yesterday. My previous doc quit, was it my fault? Did I drive her to the brink? Have I irreparably harmed her emotionally?

Probably.

And now I see someone else in the office. Someone in my my family sees her and I didn’t care for her but it’s not my choice  however, I’m seeing her now and for some odd reason she thinks that using a boot camp voice is good for her patients and if there is one thing that will get the hairs on my neck standing it’s, 

Talk to me like I’m in boot camp. 

You will do this OR ELSE! You will start this OR ELSE!

 Oh, no Ma’am! Let me introduce myself to you. I’m a pretty pretty princess and I will be coddled God damnit! I need to be gently talked into something new. CHANGE IS BAD! 

Here kitty kitty kitty, let’s try this new milk, pretty girl. 

I’m here for that. 

This was our first meeting!! The things she said! She’s so out of touch with modern medicine and knowledge of how depression works that I thought she might suggest just burning me at the stake.

Needless to say…. This woman is gonna be fired ASAP.

Do you want to know just how low my bar is for things that bring me joy?

Healthcare apps! 24 hour doctor visits online!!! This is an introverts dream! I just saw a doctor at 1am!! Yes!! Vampire hours! I love that Covid really pushed that along… please don’t send me shit saying that I said I love Covid or how dare you yada yada. It’s just a fact. They launched all over the place and I need this!

Just a quick check in. Other than feeling like I’m sitting on a burning pine cone, I’m pretty good, really.

Luv