So, I watched the Netflix Docuseries on Lori Vallow Daybell ( for those who haven’t watched it, you won’t know what I’m talking about but you’ll catch up) and imagine my shock when the police car drives into her Chandler, Arizona neighborhood and my mental muscle memory drove me straight to the house that WE lived in about four/ five houses past hers. Like I was all, yup, know those mailboxes, learned my lesson about walking barefoot in Arizona on that sidewalk, my daughter attended the grade school across the street which Lori’s son went to, trick or treated at Lori’s house…. WAIT, WHAT?! Ya! Now obviously this was a good 20(?) years earlier but what a fucking trip, Dude! How weird!
If you don’t know who she is, just Google, I’m too lazy to get all up in there, but she’s a crazy child murdering religious nut job!
Here’s a secret about me…. I know, there actually are still many left, hard to imagine! Anyway, I get tired of people. Like, tired of knowing them. Bored with them. Little things start to feel like big things that annoy the shit out of me. Personality traits begin to wear on my nerves. I notice tiny little changes in their stories. Teeny little lies. I fucking hate being lied to. I ALWAYS know you’ve lied. 99.9% of the time I don’t mention it I just note it in my head and I remember every single one. It drives me nuts that I have this particular “ quirk” it makes it extremely hard for me to keep people in my life. It makes me snarky, also so hard to imagine, it makes me distrust people. I’ve always told my husband that it’s WAY better to tell me the truth than for me to know he’s lied which will make me resentful and that will build up. I can handle the truth! I can deal with the truth. There’s a jumping off point for working through the truth. I’m not a weak and fragile thing. Do not lie thinking that it’s for me own good. Never think that it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. Loathe that mentality. But, like I said, I also just tend to get bored with people easily. Is that normal?
Why am I writing this…. I’m going through this cycle with a friend right now and I know that eventually I’ll just ghost them. Click. You’re done. Is it better to address the issue then just walk away? I mean, you can’t address personality traits that bug you because, get over yourself, but can you just ramble off a list of a hundred tiny little lies? That seems degrading. Is it better to just not give them a hit to their ego and just walk away silently? Or is that in itself shitty? You tell me. Maybe I’m just not a “ Tribe” type of person. Maybe gatherers gathered because they liked the feeling of community. Maybe hunters hunted because they liked the solitude? I’m not a gatherer type person. Am I the drama? I’m not the drama.
I’m the drama.
Besides my bio father dying, which gave me an existential crisis, our staycation was so good for my mind and body. We had no clear schedule , no set agenda and zero pressure to conform to time restraints and I thrive like that! Spontaneous is my groove. It actually didn’t even fly by. It was a nice leisurely week. We saw great art and even on my island there are two galleries. One is really weird and I’m guessing more for people to get Instagram type of photos. I did not love it. We tried two new restaurants on the island and they were lovely and a new macarons store! We went to two historical museums that are old homesteads that have been preserved and, as you know, history is my jam! I loved it! We moved the furniture around in our living room so that I can see out the 9 ft windows and door AND also the side windows and it’s so beautiful. I’ve not closed the blinds since. So calming. Wish we’d done this three years ago! However we’re signing a new lease for 13 months so I figured that now was as good a time as any! I’m happy.
Have to run!
Good morning, Luvs!
Me
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