Religion
Being religious
Let’s talk about religion, shall we? This is going to take one or two posts. This is what I love doing. I wish we could take a blanket, grab some alcohol, sit under the stars and have a huge deep conversation without judgement or fear and really get to feel each other in the parts that people feel they can’t talk about with others. Just delve into religion and political beliefs( Not to be confused with political parties) and marriage and war and humanity and what kindness looks like and who hurt you and how can I help and laugh, cry, hug and connect in a powerful, intelligent way. That’s perfection to me.
I have a certain amount of what can only be referred to as anger towards organized religion. You might have noticed.
I try not to. I really do. But, I’ll confess, when I read or hear “Church Speak” my skin crawls
If you’re not familiar with church speak, turn on a Televangelist and listen to them pray.
Oh, Lord God Our blessed father, we stand before thee today and ask that you show us your divine wisdom, Lord. Lord, we ask that you reveal to each one of us, your beloved followers, Lord, what your righteous path is before us,Lord, knowing that we can not know what your plan is,lord, but lead us to follow you through your written word, oh lord, so that we may trust in you, our great Heavenly Father, so that all things glorify you, lord, through sickness and struggles, let us know lord that you have the only vision of what we need, Lord, that we must trust that our trials and tribulations are in your plan and we shall glorify you lord even in our darkest hours, lord.... etc etc.... then pass around the “plate” for tithing to continue the work of god through the church and then listen to a sermon which is an interpreted version of the pastor of the Bible and based on how to preach without offending the adulterers, the liars, the remarried congregants, the lusters, the faithless and the hypocrite and instead turn your eyes towards the “others” those who are gay, science and even medicine in some cases. Justify your fear of the others and “facts” and brush off your questions with “ pray” and “faith”
Amen.
They use the world Lord a real whole lot. They tell you that bad things come from satan and good from God. As though God is stronger than Satan but he lets him get his fair share too and you’re suppose to glorify God as it’s god’s plan for you that you’re going through whatever it is your going through while at the same time blaming satan, which if people took just one second to think about they’d say.... wait a minute.... so God let satan kill my child in a car accident? But we are not suppose to blame God? We’re suppose to blame satan?
God, who is all powerful only gets praise for good things and takes no credit for the bad? So..... along those lines, how powerful is God again? He can but he won’t prevent evil? Or evil is in his plan for you and the way you accept that and still cling to God is the “lesson” you are to learn?
To this day, I still struggle to understand this. In my humble opinion, searching for God, rolling the idea around, asking the questions until you yourself come to a conclusion, bringing it in, spitting it out, reaching into your mind, heart, soul and seeing for yourself what you learn, value, trust and believe is the only true way to turn towards a religion. You must question, disbelieve, wonder, touch, think and, maybe this takes a lifetime. Maybe you slowly grown into your path like a vine. Maybe you come to a belief that there is no God. There are so many levels between Atheist and Believer that it’s impossible to put people into boxes.
I believe in God because I believe in Science. I know, you don’t hear that often right? I believe that it’s immensely difficult to get and stay pregnant. That pregnancy goes against everything our body has set up to survive and yet it allows this invader to not only stay but to thrive!
I believe in God because there are fish that have never seen the light of day yet use a light at the end of their body’s fishing pole to catch other fish!
I believe in God because if I was walking in the woods and came across a pile of stacked rocks I’d know that someone put them there so why would I look at the butterfly and not think the same?
Most people are born into their religion. If you’re a Christian, let’s say.... in fact let’s say you’ve never seen the inside of a church or at least since you were a child, maybe your cousin’s wedding, you can’t name a Bible verse to save your life and you think there are Ten Commandments but uh.... though shalt not lie.... though shalt not... uh, respect your parents? If you are asked on the census this year what your religion is you will check... Christian. Why? Because you sing Come All Ye Faithful once a year and your kids go to Bible camp for a few hours a day for a week at the local Baptist church and your parents are Christian and your grandparents etc...
If we were born and raised with an empty religious slate with absolutely no influence what would you choose then?
It’s profound to me when an adult converts to a completely different religion. Say from a Jew to a Christian. Not just one of the many different Christian sects, although, even then, that can be a huge leap if you go from Baptist to Jehovah’s Witness. I mean, that’s like trading in your ticket to heaven for a one way ticket to Cult Town Hell, Ever-after. In the eyes of a Baptist.That is choosing Faith. That is bravery in the face of losing everything you know. Saying that you are a religion because you put up a Christmas Tree or light a menorah or know parts of the Koran. Doesn’t lead you to God. You have not chosen. One must doubt to choose. One must question to choose. One can not be born into a choice. You must choose on your own.
Look, are we drunk yet? Grab another bottle of something, we might be getting somewhere.
Then, if we’re honest, there’s the embarrassment of choosing a religion. What if my friends or family are all atheists and they think I’m weak or stupid? They’re gonna say that I’m brainwashed. God is an imagination friend in the sky. Prayers are worthless and so fucking pretentious! How dare you tell someone in the midst of a tragedy that you’ll tell some invisible fairytale and he’ll ( or she’ll) help them? Should that make them feel better?
So maybe we don’t say that we’ll pray for you or maybe we don’t give credit to God. It can feel embarrassing. We can admit that.
Some people don’t believe in God. Guess what? That’s ok. That’s not a crime. That’s their option and you don’t have to feel shame for feeling differently. But oh, I hate it when in a group of people the Church Speak comes out. Everyone gets squishy and awkward and that person is saying that they are going to trust God’s plan and listen to what their heart says. Pray about it and listen to God.
Guess what? I hate it that I hate it!!! I do! I’m physically incapable of saying that to a group of people. Like, my mouth won’t form those words and a few months ago, when all this pee stuff started I began to wonder why I can’t say those things. Why I roll my eyes at hearing them and why it actually makes me
ANGRY
I know. Anger feels like a bit much, right? But I do. I just want to walk away with my eyes rolled back to my spine and think... oh my god. You sound like a fucking idiot. Ugh, shake it off my body like the words were powdery and fell onto my clothes... just.... stop with your “ I’m a Christian” bullshit.
Ya. I do that. I wrote here four weeks ago that I was gonna let this bladder stuff go and give it to God and I deleted it like four times. I felt embarrassed about saying that which got my brain churning again about why?
Why?
That will be coming in my next post. I hope you guys like this little series. I want to do more sitting under the stars conversations with, hopefully, open minds and just talk and share how my crazy brain thinks.
Night luvs,
Tracy
No comments:
Post a Comment