Roe V Wade Part 1
I’ve kept trying to put my thoughts together on this and my brain refuses to put the work in. It’s insisting that this is a “ Put in the box” issue but my heart says that it’s not so, I don’t know, get ready for some rambling thoughts…literally, don’t get caught up on grammar and spelling and stuff. This is stream of consciousness writing today.
I’ll be here for a week if I deep dive into every nook and cranny of this issue. It’s huge. It includes:
Rape
Molestation
Young girls
Dead fetuses
Incompatibility with life
Health of mother ( which alone is sub context after sub context for a month)
Poverty
Abuse
Deadbeat fathers
Pressure to not have baby
Fear
Family pressure
No support
Guilt
And just plain timing
Plus many more.
I have knowledge and experience in regards to a few of these issues. I’m not an expert. I can only speak for me.
Quickly: life or death choice
When I was pregnant with OM, I had pre-eclampsia that was spiraling quickly. I’d been admitted to the hospital to get on top of it but it kept getting worse until I needed to be induced.
I was sick. SICK. My blood pressure was in stroke range so I was given the devils medicine, Mag Sulfate:
Magnesium sulfate, or mag for short, is used in pregnancy to prevent seizures due to worsening preeclampsia, to slow or stop preterm labor, and to prevent injuries to a preterm baby's brain. Magnesium sulfate is given as an intravenous infusion or intramuscular injection in the hospital over 12 to 48 hours.
which literally feels like you’re burning from the inside. It wasn’t working. My brain was on fire from the high blood pressure and the meds. I couldn’t think like a fully functional adult. I was throwing up. I was in so much pain. My labor was induced which adds on the added stress of strong contractions and my body was failing me. I was shaking uncontrollably and begging for help from anyone within shouting distance.
A priest was called in ( Catholic hospital) to pray for me/give me last rights. He held my hand as I struggled to remain still. My body wanting to thrash around or get up and run away. The nurse stood at the end of my bed with my husband and I could just barely hear their conversation over the beeping alarms as she told him that he would likely be asked to make a devastating choice… His wife or his daughter. Who should he save.
I demanded that *I* make the choice! I’m the patient. It’s MY body with the baby inside of it. I choose the baby!
My husband said “ My wife” It was like I wasn’t in the room. I made the choice only to be overruled by my spouse?! But, logically, rather than emotionally, he was absolutely right. He later said, “I chose you first. We can make another baby. I can’t make you”
The priest came in close and asked if he might begin praying with me. Normally, under normal circumstances this wouldn’t bother me and in fact I’ve allowed it before when hospitalized and a visiting clergy pops in to talk but this was different. This was *IT* this felt like if I agreed to it then I’d lost the fight. I’m way too competitive to give up on anything, let alone that fast. I wasn’t about to lose that fight until I’d literally fought to the death. They hadn’t even seen me start yet! I told him to leave. The head nurse suggested an epidural because they are well known for bringing blood pressure down to dangerous levels so get on it. I yelled… Hurry!!!! My husband yelled less kindly. Nurses were running… My head, My God, my head was being crushed. I asked for ice packs to help cool my body down. I thought that if I could get one of the nasty symptoms to improve that I could then deal with the others better. Just give me one less trauma to handle and I got this. One less violent pain. Head, burning, contractions…. Get rid of whichever we could. They gave me pain meds. That didn’t work. Ice packs, a little relief, the epidural…. My head was cured. No pain. Perfect, that makes it %100 easier to deal with! Contractions eased…. Two down! Blood pressure decreased just enough to bring relief… I begged them to decrease the magnesium by just a bit since my blood pressure was just a bit better. They called the doc and she said we could try but it would be right back up if things changed… That would give me my fighting chance and I passed out. Thank God. I was so determined to get that baby out that I pushed three times ( she was 6lbs so that helped too!) I was still very ill and had to have an increased dose of Mag again but I didn’t care. My room was kept black. No phones allowed. No tv. No getting out of bed even to pee. But I didn’t quit.
Today if that happened there would be no choice given. Only the fetus matters. That’s what my husband would have been confronted with. If I stroked out, oh well, too bad. Only the fetus matters. If I died, that’s the price you pay for getting pregnant in this country.
Highlights. The most recent U.S. maternal mortality ratio, or rate, of 17.4 per 100,000 pregnancies represented approximately 660 maternal deaths in 2018. This ranks last overall among industrialized countries.
Which is already rolling the dice in a country that ranks last among industrialized nations. And that’s if you’re white! If your black the outlook is even worse:
In 2020, the maternal mortality rate for non-Hispanic Black women was 55.3 deaths per 100,000 live births, 2.9 times the rate for non-Hispanic White women (19.1) (Figure 1 and Table). Rates for non-Hispanic Black women were significantly higher than rates for non-Hispanic White and Hispanic women. The increases from 2019 to 2020 for non-Hispanic Black and Hispanic women were significant. The observed increase from 2019 to 2020 for non-Hispanic White women was not significant.
Now add on the deaths of mothers who can’t have a procedure to save their lives.
How can we, as the supposed “leaders of the free world” be so backwards on women’s health. The utter disregard for the lives of women and, God forbid, raped pregnated 10, 12, 13 + year old CHILDREN! When do these “Christians” think that it’s time to stop protecting children? Babies? Well, the fucking second they’re born, that’s when. Do we provide paid leave for parents and baby to get the best start? Do we provide free medical for children? Do we do anything to improve schooling? Poverty? Fund childcare centers? Fuck no we don’t. We don’t do even one thing post birth that EVER SINGLE OTHER INDUSTRIALIZED COUNTRY DOES! Not even ONE.
So fuck you on your bullshit lies about “It’s for the babies” Ya, what about the siblings who lose their mother because she paid the American price for getting pregnant in this throwback to burning witches age that we’re going balls to the walls to get back to? Fuck them? When are these “Good ole days” these people want? Pick a decade that was “good.” Each and everyone has its drawbacks and for God’s sake, what kind of world leadership strives to take steps backwards rather that improve the future?
How can they sleep at night? I mean that. How? I can’t wrap my brain around it. I can’t say “ I do see where they’re coming from but I disagree” I can’t see where they are coming from. I just don’t understand this.
Part 2 when I can go through this emotional rollercoaster again.
Tracy
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