TMI

And here we go....

1. went to the urologist today and..... bawled my friggin eyes out. By now this lovely and kind man has become part urologist and part psychiatrist. How luck for him!

He told me today that even though he’s a surgeon he doesn’t have a God Complex which instantly made me quote, in my head, from the film, Malice, which stars Alec Baldwin and Nicole Kidman(when she was still a pretty redhead and not a blond skeleton) :

• “The question is, 'Do I have a 'God Complex'?...which makes me wonder if this lawyer has any idea as to the kind of grades one has to receive in college to be accepted at a top medical school. Or if you have the vaguest clue as to how talented someone has to be to lead a surgical team. I have an M.D. from Harvard, I am board certified in cardio-thoracic medicine and trauma surgery, I have been awarded citations from seven different medical boards in New England, and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn't miscarry or that their daughter doesn't bleed to death or that their mother doesn't suffer acute neural trauma from postoperative shock, who do you think they're praying to? Now, go ahead and read your Bible, Dennis, and you go to your church, and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle. But if you're looking for God, he was in operating room number two on November 17, and he doesn't like to be second guessed. You ask me if I have a God Complex? I AM GOD!

So, that’s good to know, I suppose.....anyway, I’m starting therapy. No, not talk therapy...physical therapy or more precisely, bladder/pelvic floor therapy because.... I need to, and I quote, loosen up my pelvic floor to help my bladder by not being squeezed to tightly. How does one get one’s pelvic floor to be a bit more lazy? Taunt it, call it names, break it’s fucking spirit? I’ll probably let you know since I can’t stop talking about this subject. Thrilling content, Tracy, Bravo!

Oh, one more thing......in order to help this process along....I’ve been prescribed Valium. No, silly, not to swallow with a glass of water, who do you think I am, a NORMAL person, a regular boring horse in Occam’s Razor? No, Bish, I am the zebra!!!! I’ve been prescribed Valium to insert it into my.....vagina. Ya. True story. It’s a pill. It’s not gonna see the light of day. 

ONLY me. 

Kobe Bryant:

As a side note, the first person I picked up my phone to call about Kobe, because she lived for basketball, was Cheryl and I hate that part of losing someone, when you wake up and have forgotten for ten seconds or you pick up the phone and suddenly you....Remember all over again. It’s been nearly two years since I lost her and it still feels like yesterday.

I have other thoughts but they’re going to wait until a different time.

Night, luvs, bears and cattails,

Me.