The one where she bitches a lot...

When I get sick, I do it right!

I do not know what hit me like a bullet train but it was nothing short of violently ill for THREE fun filled days and nights. 

How did I cope? I slept of course! Except for the times when I had a pillow and blanket using the bathtub as a gigantic cold pack so I could be as close as possible to that throw up thing... ya, the toilet. That’s what we usually call it unless you’re in a daze soaked in sweat and looking like a shadow of heroin addict. Then it’s just a mumble... “dat fro up ting” cause you’re head hurt so bad you don’t even speak proper English anymore!

That was something you needed to know. Am I right?

So, let me share this too as my new open self, nobody tells you that grownup children can be just as frustrating and obnoxious and frankly, unlikable as a child child. They can be rude, smart ass motherfuckers and you think your time card is stamped when they’re grown but no... the real stubborn ones, they just perfect their skills. They grind those axes and fester and coddle those teenage attitudes and grow them into adults you don’t want to know. Only the parents though. To everyone else these insidious little demons are friendly, funny, intelligent human beings. Only to their parents do they take off their human skin suit to behave like spoiled little assholes and frankly, I’m too fucking old for this shit. I have one child who has, her entire life, required more attention, more walking on eggshells, more emotional and mental stress than all three of her siblings put together times 10. And at various times during her adulthood she still makes me want to run away from home and I would but I know her sense of smelling fear would lead her to finding me.

I’m exhausted with this “child” more and more over the last several months and it’s come to a head. We’re in the place where we’d send her to her room with a stack of books and tell her that we don’t want to see the red in her eyes for two more weeks but, that doesn’t work very well on adults so, how do you stop allowing the soul sucking drama to slowly turn you into a dry leaf with nothing left to give?

Yes. That is the dilemma. Protect your own mental health over there in the fetal position or continue being the proverbial punching bag on a seconds notice if you look her in the eyes for too long?

Blink if you know the answer. 

No. I still can’t pee.

Loves my muffins,

Tracy