Hey there...

So, here’s how things are going....

I was called last Monday and told that I’m in kidney failure. I suppose that I already knew that was coming having doctor googled myself. I’m so tired. Not like, sleepy, like TIRED. Able to literally sleep 24 hours away and made to get up to eat. That’s the arrangement I’ve made for now. Take no medicine except for some shots that support kidney function. Sleep as much as my body says, set a timer for fluids and antibiotics and if that fails, hospital.

This is always such a special time of year, isn’t it? Hospital, surgery, hospital. I feel so pampered.

So, remember the warm and fuzzies when my dad’s wife, who’d said three words to me in like, 30 years, wrote and was kind and said “ keep me updated” blah blah blah.

That literally didn’t last past that first email.

She sent me the necklace and my dad’s ashes, I wrote and thanked her, asked how she was, nothing. Wrote and told her about my sweet baby L and nothing.

I wrote and told her that as a beneficiary of my father’s will, I hate to have to ask, but I’m legally required to be given a copy. See, I’m not going down that road again. No, honey, I learned a VALUABLE lesson about that and being “nice.” Now, I asked very tactfully and respectfully and kindly. I’m not cruel.... Often, and it’s been weeks since then. I sent a text to her daughter “ your mom still have same email?” “Yes.... I think” I told her that I can’t get ahold of her mom. Silence. Crickets. 

I wrote another email last night “ checking to see how you are. Hope your as good as you can be”

Nothing.

I guess I’m getting a lawyer. 

This will be different.

It really really sucks that people become shitty over money. Although, she taught me ages ago who she was so, not shocking, I guess, but I hate that part of me that wants to trust people and they always end up.... No, I just find out who they are. 

Not always. My husband never has a stacked deck.   That’s rare. So far Robb doesn’t either. That’s more rare. I can and will be your best ride or die. I like that about me.

My youngest will be 18 on the 1st. My heart aches. That’s it. I’m done. Well, he’s a senior but legally, I’ll be crossing the finish line. 36 years from uterus to adulthood. Four children. I like that about me as well. That’s some strong woman shit right there!

I have to go.

Tracy