Hey!

How are ya?

Let me get into this real quick so some of Ya’ll can stop emailing me:

Yes. I know that shutting the smoothie place down puts people out of work. I also know that up until this week, those people would get their unemployment plus $600. That means that to stay safely at home you would likely be making more money than before. Ok? Ok.

Yes, I know that there are essential frontline workers. My husband is one, so are/were both of my daughters and my son ( get back to this) I get that people need garden supplies, I guess, flowers are great, or home improvement items, yes, your toilet goes south, you definitely need to be able to fix that or your sink or whatever. Yes, duh, grocery stores need to be open. Sure industry needs to keep industrializing!! I get that too. Painters need to paint, concrete needs pouring, windows need installing, street repair, hospitals, electricity, cable, internet.... yes!!! I get it. 

I got you, Karen, but then can’t those people have max protection from getting sick, or you know, their asses beat because Bubba and Becky think it’s against their God Given Rights  to just help a bit. Put protection into place so those people aren’t scared shitless to be at work, which leads me to....

My YM was so petrified to go to work with the public across from one of the largest airports in the country where she was forbidden to tell customers to wear a mask!! That she could not function because her boyfriend ( now ex?) has a severe disease and she thought as she left for work every day that she’d come home with a virus and kill him. Wear your mask. It’s to protect your fellow man. It’s a kindness.

The economy needs to be running. My dad died for it. Don’t come for me again until you’ve sacrificed more than wearing a face mask.

Now onto my Uro-Gyn!! Woot!! I’ve got a new doctor! Do you know that only 35 doctors in the country, per year, are allowed to graduate as a Urologist-Gynecologist! This is my second.

We spoke for an hour. There are several surgeries that we can try, like, twelve or something, and we will go through them if necessary. Woot! But he told me that it looks like that original doctor who did the hysterectomy fucked up and that there’s a good chance that the “sling” he used has “dissolved” and left metal clips floating around and that he placed it wrong. There are no scars, no notes, as to where he was supposed to poke two holes through my pelvic area. Oops. 

This one seems very good. Promises that he won’t cover for another doctor’s fuck up and also....

I know how long he’s been married, how many children they have, the nationality of his wife, where he thinks COVID-19 came from ( man made and weaponized), that his politics are just right of center and he’s lost three cell phones in his pool this summer.

As you can imagine, me, being shy AF, nodded a lot.

We start vacation on Friday, possibly tomorrow and guess what?! We can’t go! Ah, Covid-19, you sneaky little bastard you! But, I’m going to paint and I have some things to do with the apartment ( stop me from spending money!) and it will actually be nice to just cook when/if we want. Relax, watch movies etc..

I have a story about my dad’s wife. I’ll add it soon. But, you don’t want to hear it now.

Also, strange dreams lately! Seriously, the cast of the Tracy show, like my whole life, is being featured EVERY NIGHT!

My mom and dad, TOGETHER! In their 20’s! Wtf? Everyone I’ve ever dated and the different ways those could have played out, like, I get chosen, what? Visits back to places I’ve lived, Doug! My childhood but I’m me as an adult AND a child, taking care of me. Really the most bizarre and wonderful dreams!! 

All these visitors. Past stars and guest stars of my life and it’s lovey and kind and loving and I get chosen, I know, I said that already but how different my life would have been if at different points on my path if I’d been chosen there instead of carrying on? How lovely and yet, I was supposed to move on through this cast of characters. I was supposed to take a piece here and there and absorb this from her and that from him and learn these lessons to pass on. No, I’m not high, Karen! 

But seeing my mom in my dreams, young, straight black hair to her butt. No being crazy to me, although I now know that there was chaos then, there isn’t in my dreams. My dad, with dark hair and his mustache getting along with my mom has said.....” it’s so much different, Honey. All that worry. Pointless. All the anger? Slips away. No regrets. Relax.”

Even today, I am still a work in progress my loves, my Mon ami’s,  my Sonny’s and my moons! My fellow air band mates! My gigglers and laughers. My touches and hugs. My past and my future and the combinations of both. 

Me