Today I had to go get some blood work done and I wasn’t exactly excited about the prospect of going to the tiny blood sucking box known as Lab Co_rp. Texas is back to raging with Covid, do NOT get me started, and I just can not do small spaces. I sucked it up, put on my new, boring, KN95 mask and went. We went late in the day hoping to avoid people. That didn’t work. There are signs everywhere telling people to wear a mask to enter and then it happens. Out in the wild and anti-mask demon, not joking, weighs close to 500lbs, so you know, no co-morbidity there, sweating, coughing, clearing his throat, sniffling, motherfucker who proceeds to sit NEXT to me.
I’m all, squirming and twisting and trying to push my mask into my flesh and this guy is coughing without covering his mouth and making comments about masks.
I can feel the Covid crawling on me by that point and I feel like if he can assault me with his face then I can assault him and so I turn to my husband and have this conversation:
Me: Will you do me a favor?
Him: what?
Me: If I need you to finish paying will you?
Him: weird silent tilt of the head
Me: Listen, my mouth is fixing to write a check that I’m not sure I can pay with Big Fella right here.
Husband: laughs a lot and says “ I got yer back”( I mean, he is a black belt and an instructor, so I’d hope so)
And then the guy calls me a crazy sheep and walks out.
I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure that in that moment, I was more Texan than I ever thought possible and that nozzle left!
I win.
I rewarded myself by buying a dress that might just make me the prettiest I’ve ever been. Like, I swooned at my own self! My husband is getting me the other colors tomorrow but this one is like a dark burnt red with balloon sleeves and it’s simply beautiful and simple at the same time.
I had a good day.
Goodnight Moon.
Me
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