Ok, here we Go
So, most of us have had the embarrassing experience of sending a text to the wrong person. I’ve been known, as a coach, to send a text to the parent I’m speaking about. That’s been fun.
So you know that on a little scale, I mean, it feels humiliating, at the time but in general, you didn’t have a hot mic at a political event or news broadcast, right, some there are a few people who know, you want to die, but eventually it becomes a funny story.
When I’m confronted with an embarrassing memory or particularly humiliating memory, my first response, brought to you by the brain that likes to bury things as a protective measure, is to, literally out loud, say.... “stop” or “no” or “go away” and I stop thinking of it.... thankfully I’ve never done that in public as talking to yourself at home seams almost normal but in public can illicit a multitude of reactions.
So, on a normal day, this would be packed up into a box marked “ never think of this again” or a drawer marked “ oh, hell no”
But! Since we are all sitting, alone in our thoughts, mulling over our life choices and asking our kids to make up a list of questions that they might one day wish they knew about me... or maybe that’s just me and maybe my kids actually know more about me than they probably wish they did, I expect the questions to be limited to one or two.... I mean, in total, not per child....
Anyway........
Let’s talk about me and my fuck up on a grand scale and how humiliating it was, shall we??
I figured out, finally, how to live stream a podcast on my own without a producer. I hide it well but I’m really a fucking genius....
So. Robb, my partner in crime, and I do a “Testing testing” podcast and it works! Yes!! We talk for a few minutes and then I close my laptop, place it on the fabric storage puffs that we use for sitting AND a coffee table... Told you, genius!! And go about my day.
Robb asks if I can pee yet and I go into length about how I’m not improving, how I dealt with it on our trip, how I’m literally becoming used to this jacked up situation, we talk about his ex-wife, his daughter. Madison calls and I put her on speaker phone. I don’t enjoy holding a phone up to my ear, I don’t know why, I just don’t.... lots of conversation, I bitch about Trump and his ridiculous declaration that four days ago he finally was convinced that this COVID isn’t like just any other flu.... FOUR days ago.... and you can imagine how that conversation went and then I start getting like alert after alert after alert ( put 20 more “ alert” here)
But I’m on the phone and not paying attention until after so many I look at my phone and see....
TRACY!!! I’M TRYING TO GET AHOLD OF YOU!!
YOU ARE STREAMING LIVE!!
I CAN HEAR YOU!
STOP TALKING!!!
And 20 more like that from a sub of mine.
And I.... freak the hell out.
I can not figure out how to delete this stream. I tell everyone to STOP talking as I proceed to go, “oh, fuck shit, I can’t turn this off. “ for like ten minutes until I realize.....
That my CLOSED laptop is still streaming. It’s not even on!!!!!!!
I push the power button but I’m prepared to put it in the oven at 500 degrees.
I put the video on private.
I get an email that reads..... You’re offline now. Good job!!
I write back....( by the way, this is someone that I’ve collabed with)
Welcome to the EL Family on lockdown.
I did teach you how to make a no-see mask at least.
He said it was funny but I don’t think it’s funny yet.
There you go. My screw up went out to the world.... I did make some ad money! I did get thumbs up!
There’s something I guess.......
Night luvs
Oh, I can’t paint because I can’t get paint!!
Me
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