Part one

It’s my birthday month and I’ll cry if I want to!!

Let’s lighten up this shit, what do you say? You’re either converting to Quakerism right now and or have decided that I’m a Jesus freak and Lord help us, wtf.

Same.

I will be 52 years old. That is the age my mother died at and I can guarantee you that I feel much younger than she did at 52. She was rough and wasn’t funny and wasn’t intelligent per say and she wasn’t interested in things outside of her box and didn’t have a passion for anything and was simply satisfied living in her cocoon surrounded by the familiar and....That is so NOT me. I have this weird thing where I feel irritated by people who are comfortable. It’s.....Lazy.....Oh, no...don’t send me emails!!! Sure, you’re lazy until you get pissed off and then, woo boy, you can send some illiterate emails.

I’m feeling feisty today.

Today I’m going to tell you the story of the weekend that we moved. It’s been a ptsd story until now so I think I can get through it.

For legal reasons I’m not going to discuss the lead up to us wanting to move. Suffice it to say, in the state of Texas we had every legal right to break our lease and then some.

So, I’d been looking for places for a few months knowing that it had to happen. I had a list of priorities that were important to me. My husband said that anything important to me was fine with him. Just find something that I wanted.

I wanted to live in a multi story complex with elevators or

A converted warehouse with concrete floors, brick walls, etc....

Security access. 

Large floor to ceiling windows ( many of the warehouses looked out over the trains and I loved that. Noise like that doesn’t bother me)

I wanted a “loft style” of floor-plan

Pool, preferable rooftop.

Pool tables, computers, fireplace, workout gym, community kitchen and bbq

On the freeway

Over retail space, ideally 

Lots of light

One bedroom and one office ( the boy won’t be living with us for a whole lot longer. He can use the office space for a bedroom and then I can use it as my office)

Pet friendly

Modern lighting and kitchen.

I contacted a realtor and so did my husband.

We told them what we wanted, where we would like to live ( initially in downtown Dallas but once we started looking more closely we noticed a disturbing trend.....homeless people staying in the parking garages and begging for money. Not particularly the safest idea. I’m still bummed about that.)

We both started getting the listings and I went through both realtors emails and looked through hundreds of places....hundreds.

Time was ticking and we needed to get out of our apartment or we’d be stuck for another month. Our last possible day to move became June 4th or we’d have to wait.

I was stressed, the husband was stressed, the YM was stressed because her and he boyfriend were moving to the Dallas Metroplex as well but she wouldn’t move until we did. They already knew where they were going.

May 30th and we had two that we’d settled on, possible three. My husband went to view them. The first which was over retail and had just about everything I wanted was carpeted. The entire place. That was a no starter for me. I have two dogs and the hair gets caught in there and I’m allergic to dogs ( I know, brilliant) plus carpet is gross. It gets dirty, you clean it and then it gets dirty even more quickly and it wears a pattern and God forbid your dog get’s sick. I mean, I’m mean with a hand held steam cleaner but I was also sick of it. Nope. And boy, was I bummed!!!!

The next, a high rise in downtown Dallas, the 58th floor, view of the building covered in the green light that you see in any picture of Dallas a night. LOVED it!!!!! No need to drive anywhere, the train goes all over and is free to people who live in the building. A concierge and security access. No keys. A dog park on the 8th floor!!! 

My husband loved it.......but....it was hot outside and he said that in the heat the garbage shoot stunk up the building.  I hadn’t even though about a garbage shoot. Of course you’d need a shoot with that many floors!! It’s hot here from April to November. Damn it.

One more, over the train, in fact the train looked like it was coming into our apartment and then it went past....this is a passenger/commuter train, over a creek, weird balcony , loft style, cool amenities....we went to sign the lease and I am not kidding with this next part.....they accidentally had someone sign the lease for our apartment and she was moving in that day....we could have hers....no view, no balcony...all carpet.

I was sick. It was June 2nd.

My husband was on his way to work and there was one listing that for some reason I had never looked at. Actively ignored. I don’t know why....but, I clicked on it and said...Holy shit! Everything that’s most important to me is in this place. It’s not a “complex” and it was stunning. I called my husband and said.....how about yada yada and he says....Is that in Allen? I said..yes and he goes....Holy shit. Hold on....

He was literally driving by it. You can’t tell what it is from the highway because it looks like something else, facing the highway are some parking garages with store names on them.

He pulled in, took a pick, sent it to me and I said....yes, that’s it and he wrote back....YOU WANT THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!!!

He went back when they opened. They had two apartments available. I picked one, my husband like the other best. He sent me video and I agreed and that was good because the one I picked was leased an hour later. He put our deposit down. He applied and something happened.

There’s a guy with my husbands name and birthday and sometimes during inquiries comes up as my husband....this guy is a felon drug dealer. They turned us down....

It’s the night of the 2nd and I’m panic stricken. My husband contacts who he needs to and asks for it to be be rushed.....I’m sick.

The third. I’ve resigned myself to having to stay another month which seems ok because we haven’t packed a single thing! Nothing....

My bank alerts me to a large amount of money  being taken from our account and it’s from the leasing office....I call my husband.....shit!!!!!!!!! We got it!!!!!! And he’s all....no.

So I talk him into calling and sure enough, we go to it and now we have to move by the next day....holy shit.

My husband fills out the paperwork, I fill out mine and email it back, he rents a truck, I tell YM to get her stuff packed in their apartment, my husband drives home and It’s thunder storming like the world is ending and we lose electricity.  We can’t move anything into the truck. Hell, we can’t see. 

We go to bed at 7 pm to get some sleep and wait out the storm.....I don’t sleep. I can’t sleep. My anxiety has hit def com 212. I’m literally wondering if we can’t just leave every single thing and buy all new stuff when we move in. That’s how crazy that situation feels.

3am. Storm stops and it’s like a jack in the box. Everyone springs awake and we basically pack like we’re heading to a bomb shelter... “hand me a box! Ok, the pots and pans are with the bathroom stuff and my bags are with the bedding and the dishes are in the pillow cases and....Cluster Fuck.

YM and her boyfriend pack what they are gonna take and come back to help us. We leave at 5pm and head to YM’ s new place and get to ours at 9 pm and it is fucking magical.

It’s sent up like it’s own small town and lights go from one side of the street, across the street and to the other side. The trees are lit up. People are strolling along the sidewalks holding hands, walking dogs, restaurant patios are filled, the little park has families on blankets, adults drinking wine, kids playing in the ginormous treehouse, the creek catching the lights and twinkling and YM’s boyfriend leans up from the back seat and says...What the fuck is this place? YM has stopped the car in the middle of the small street and her and are are thisclose to the windshield, our mouths gaping open and I want to cry. I’m moving into a Hallmark movie, a romcom set. This is straight out of Hollywood as “perfect community” and I whisper....I want to live here. My YM says....”you’re in luck”

Then....it gets really bad. Like, straight from hell, bad........